Here is a grounding meditation for you to enjoy.
As a child, I’ve always been interested in the unknown and had many, many questions. I always felt like something was off and was super inquisitive of things in my upbringing, specifically with things I learned at Sunday school at my Catholic church. I could really go in deep with all of these thoughts that I had as a child, but let’s save all that for another post, shall we?
I do want to share a few things to shed some light on my path, though. At some point in my childhood, I decided I wanted to connect with spirits. I was on a mission. I was on a path of exploration. I found out a friend had a Ouija board and so I played around with that for a few years. I was always drawn to cemeteries and would find myself visiting them and trying to imagine the lives of the people and in some way thought that by reading their tombstone I was honoring them by acknowledging them at that moment. I bought my first deck of Tarot cards in high school, Rider-Waite, and tried reading for friends with a solid feeling I knew what I was doing – even though nothing made sense to me. I even spent many years exploring spells & potions and would hold circles with my best friend and her sisters. All of this while still very active with church, living at home, and very much to my mom’s disapproval.
At the time, I never really knew why I was so interested in this, just that I knew that there was more to life than meets the eye. What I was learning at church didn’t quite resonate. Fast forward to my 20’s when I almost lost my life and then my 30’s when my brother, Adrian, lost his. These two huge events were catalysts for change and for desperation to once again seek that spiritual aspect of my life I’ve longed for most of my life. It was Adrian’s death that was my massive wake-up call and also propelled me on a path that I now know I’ve been on for a while, I had just forgotten. Not so much my awakening, but my remembering.
And while I’m still very much doing the work (I don’t think it ever stops), I now know I’m here to help others. Things I had questions to as a child finally makes sense. With every step of my journey and with every connection I make, it is all just one more piece of the puzzle. With the help of others who walk this path, those who have helped me to remember, all the deep work I’ve been doing and massive shifts that have occurred, I know that it has finally come around full circle.
I have found things that truly connect for me and I want that for others. My desire to also be able to help others realize the light inside them, no matter what hardships they have been through or are currently going through if I am able to walk alongside them and help guide them in their remembering, their awakening, that is why I am here on Earth. Helping others realize their truth and worth is why I am still on this journey. I know how much healing I’ve gone through the past 5-6years and I want that for others.
I watched a video on Facebook today that really struck me, right in my heart. It also went along with part of the conversation I had with my friend, Amy, yesterday.
Maybe you’ve seen it make its rounds? The speaker talks about how every day we need to dress for a party. What if we only had “X” amount of time left on this earth? How would we live our lives? When Adri died I spent a lot of time reflecting on life and what is important. I also asked myself a lot of questions like, why do I wait to do anything? Why do we hold off on doing the things we love? What would happen if I just did things according on my own terms? In the thick of all that I reacted from a very different space. I almost forgot.
I turned 39 last month and I vowed to myself to do all the things that bring me joy. That thing I’ve been wanting to do. I’m gonna do it. Curious about something? I’m gonna give it a shot. One thing I have been curious about is how all those fashion Instagrammers look so, well…fashionable? I’m jeans and t-shirt kind of lady. But some days I want to mix it up a bit and looking at all these fashion bloggers inspire me to look my best. I want to leave the house cute all the time! Yet, I usually find myself stuck in my closet looking at things thinking, ‘I don’t have anything to wear!’ Can anyone else relate?
Cue my fashionista friend, Amy. She recently started an Instagram account where she shows how she restyles the items she has in her closet. So right up my alley! Because here’s the other thing – I’m not a big shopper. In fact, sometimes I feel mom guilt for shopping for myself instead of the kids. Seriously, I have to have this whole internal dialogue of how I birthed them so I DESERVE this to make it feel ok. So not ok. But nevertheless, it is true, and I’ll bet the rest of my money in my savings account (it’s not much, sorry) that other moms feel this way too. Anyway, I reached out to my friend Amy to help me style a few things in my closet and in the process I learned so much more. I won’t go into all of it, but it was definitely what I needed and it inspired me to really change my attitude towards the clothes in my closet and even shopping for myself. The three looks in the photo above are me giving this whole fashion thing a go. The idea, to restyle one item (the skirt, obvi) three different ways to show how versatile it was. Two of those stylings were my friend’s suggestions. The challenge, take photos of the outfits and put them on Instagram. That’s the cool thing to do anyway, right?!
Challenge accepted! However – Truth be told, I was going to wait to start on this. Procrastination is something I am really, really good at! Ha! But I watched that video today and thought to myself, why wait? And in the spirit of new things, the New Year, and the releasing with the New Moon, I’m leaving that narrative of being a procrastinator behind. I’m not a procrastinator! I am a go-getter! So here I am in my versatile skirt with its three different looks. And while I don’t think I’ve fully embodied my style with any of these looks, it was pretty fun. I felt pretty!! A huge thanks to my dear friend, Amy, for all her pairing recommendations.
I know out of the three, my most favorite look is #2. Which one do you like best?
Resolution or Intention
I’m not big on the whole resolution thing. I know, I know… resolution and intention pretty much mean the same thing, but for me, an intention seems less daunting. Also, when I think of the word resolution the first thing that comes to mind is resolving something. What could I possibly need to resolve at the beginning of a new year? I find it a little counteractive in terms of planning for a new year. I’m already doing a bit of reflecting, I don’t want to spend too much of my time in the past gearing up for the future. I’m not sure if that even makes sense really, but in my mind it does, so just humor me and go along with my thought process. Please and thank you!
The older I get, the more I realize that everything is a learning experience where hopefully I’ve grown from my experiences. Therein lies the shift of thought for me; instead of resolving something, I’m intending to do some new things and continue on improving on some things I’ve already started. I wrote down quite a bit in my meditation this morning, but I thought it would be fun to share a few of them here with you. So without further ado…
My 2019 Intentions
- BLOG MORE – My desire to write and share often comes at the most inopportune times. Times where I feel like the thoughts and ideas just need to just come out but I have no means to do so. This causes me to freak out a bit because my memory these days aren’t what they used to be. I need to jot these bursts of thoughts down, record it in my voice memo, type it in my notes… put it somewhere! I often feel that if I don’t save the first few ideas down, the things I have to share aren’t so good. The good stuff should come easily, right? It is my intention going forward to not make excuses on why I can’t share. Get over the fear of what people may think and my own self-judgment and just say, eff it, and post anyway. And since I mentioned judgment, my next intention is…
- JUDGE LESS – I hate to admit it, but my inner judge Judy pops outta nowhere sometimes and it makes me sad. She’s much sassier and snarkier than the real judge Judy and can be a complete bitch. It’s an ongoing work in progress with my shadow side to put her in her place. Because who am I to judge? Who are any of us, really? But I am human and certain events & people in my life conditioned me to react in a certain way, so, unfortunately, it happens sometimes. Happy to say that I now realize it quickly and can take a few steps back, but still. There’s no need for that. And it’s an ugly place to be and come from. Love is the only thing I wish to bestow upon others. Not my skewed view/opinion.
- TRAVEL MORE MINDFULLY – I traveled a lot last year. It was one of my intentions going into 2018. I put out into the universe and we made it happen. I love it so much! Looking back at all my photos over the past year made me realize how extremely blessed I am. But in those travels, I didn’t prepare for a couple of big trips at the end of the year I wanted to take. So the intention for next year, more mindful travel. Saving up for two bigger trips. After all, I’m on my way to 40. Gotta celebrate big when that day comes. Right?!
- INTEGRATION – As someone who follows all these spiritual social media accounts, I often wonder how many of the spiritual advisors/mentors I see actually do the shit they say. (For the record, the ones I know who do and share with integrity are the ones I turn to for my own development.) I wonder this because of my own personal journey and how there is so much I don’t share because I’m really mindful of trying to remain in the moment. There are times when that doesn’t call for a photo opp to later be posted on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And don’t get me wrong, I too myself do this occasionally. But what I’m getting at is when I do, I’m not fully present. I’m not integrating. And I really want to integrate all that I share. The things I’m wishing not only for myself but for others. Do many others feel the same? Hopefully so. However, I realize social media is a beast and sometimes people talk the talk without walking the walk. I hope to not get so sucked in by the beast. I was put on this earth to lead and help. So I’m here to do the work. Not just wear my mala and post cute photos of my tarot card and call it a day. And if you are one of those people who do that – you do you.
- Which leads me to this…HONESTY. I hope I’m not coming across the wrong way. That certainly isn’t my intention. (Although, while proofreading it does sound a bit judgy. Le sigh…) But I am speaking from my heart and being honest. I definitely want to do more of that this year, be more honest. Honest with others, myself, my thoughts…
honestyall across the board.
- BOUNDARIES – I’ve already set up so many healthy boundaries for myself, but I want to take it a bit further. There are people in my life who are total energy suckers. I can’t give in to that anymore. There are also those who I’ve genuinely tried to build connections with and for whatever reason have not respected my time. I don’t have time for that either! I’m going to be pickier when it comes to how and with who I spend my time and energy this year.
- GET ORGANIZED WITH MY BUSINESS – In my role as an educator with Young Living and with moving forward as a spiritual advisor, I plan on getting things done. This means I need to get myself super organized! This also means I need to spend more time using social media for work and IPAs, and not waste my time mindlessly scrolling. A BEAST I tell you!!
- BALANCE – That’s my overall theme for this year. It came to me many times in meditation over the past few weeks. At first, when the word popped up I was like, that can’t be it, balance is just an excuse, right? Plus, I wanted something a little fancier! However, I’m not fancy and simple is another theme in life that has presented itself so balance it is. Balance in all areas of my life and within myself. And it is so!
So these are just a few of my intentions for 2019. I feel really good about it all. I feel really good about 2019! Anyone else excited for the upcoming year? What intentions have you set for yourself?
What if I do all the things that bring me joy? All the things I’ve still been holding back on, what if I just did them?! Seriously. What if we all just totally switched up what we did and just lived our lives the way we really wanted?
This, in a nutshell, is the general thought I’ve been having the past few days. As I begin my 39th year and journey towards the fantastic forties, the thought occurred to me that I should do all the things I’ve been wanting to do and document it. In part to hold myself accountable by sharing, but also to see the progress I may or may not make during the year.
As I sat in my room the other day reflecting on how much my life has changed and in which areas it has remained the same got my mind spinning. I was really excited to turn 30. I had so many BIG plans. Honestly, I experienced so many wonderful things in my 30’s, however, I’ve still held back with so much. Why is that? How is it that I get so comfortable and complacent? It’s one of the things I put up a big fuss over, and yet here we are. The same. It sorta feels like groundhog day…
Can anyone else relate? Who else is searching for more meaning in their life? Who else is yearning for that something more? Knowing that you are meant for bigger and better things. To give. To help. To heal. To live this life with so much adventure and love!
What is it that holds you back? Why do we make excuses for ourselves instead of living in the moment and living our best lives? Fear. Let’s not let fear run this show. Truly. Let’s not just talk about it not running the show, but actually going out there and living it! This is my goal for 39. The journey to 40 is going to be one hell of a ride and I hope you’ll come to join me in witnessing it!